Being a Representative of the United States
For the past few days I have been drafting a long blog post, trying to recap everything I have done in the past six weeks and make up for my communication absence, but all of that seems a bit irrelevant right now.
Today at school, I watched the live stream of the election news casting in between my classes, and as the results got more grim and shocking, keeping my composure became difficult. I think most of the teachers at my school knew it was election time in the U.S., but as far as I could tell they were not looking at the results. For a few of you who are reading this, maybe some of my extended relatives, I know that many people do not like Clinton. But as I sat at my desk and watched Trump win more and more votes, I actually shook in my chair. Just as the results turned to Trump's certainty, my co-teacher, whose English is often difficult to understand and frequently leaves his responsibilities to other teachers, came into my classroom to have a "talk" with me about my host family. In convoluted phrases, he said that my host mother called him (which I later found out was not the full story - he initiated the conversation) and told him that she was worried about my relationship with my host sisters because I do not talk very frequently with them. -- On a side note, it is true that I have found it difficult to bond and connect with my host sisters because they are often yelling at their parents and it makes me uncomfortable, but that is for another post. I also had a really nice conversation with my host mom about it this evening, so at least there's some movement in the right direction with them. -- Right after my co-teacher left and I was totally bewildered, students streamed into my classroom. I swallowed, smiled, and taught for 50 minutes before collapsing back into my chair.
Once it became clear that Trump was winning and I had no other classes to teach, I asked for permission to leave and call home. I don't think the other teachers at my school realized what had happened until I went home early while biting back tears.
For most of the people I interact with here, I am their only representative of the United States. Whatever I do and say is how they will perceive American culture, and I am realizing that tomorrow I will have to talk to my students about this. I do not know how I am going to explain to the students at my all-girls high school that the most qualified candidate for United States president in history, who was a women, lost against someone with no experience, who has spoken about sexually assaulting women, and was endorsed by the KKK.
All I can hope is that people come together and continue to love each other. That is what I can offer them.
Today at school, I watched the live stream of the election news casting in between my classes, and as the results got more grim and shocking, keeping my composure became difficult. I think most of the teachers at my school knew it was election time in the U.S., but as far as I could tell they were not looking at the results. For a few of you who are reading this, maybe some of my extended relatives, I know that many people do not like Clinton. But as I sat at my desk and watched Trump win more and more votes, I actually shook in my chair. Just as the results turned to Trump's certainty, my co-teacher, whose English is often difficult to understand and frequently leaves his responsibilities to other teachers, came into my classroom to have a "talk" with me about my host family. In convoluted phrases, he said that my host mother called him (which I later found out was not the full story - he initiated the conversation) and told him that she was worried about my relationship with my host sisters because I do not talk very frequently with them. -- On a side note, it is true that I have found it difficult to bond and connect with my host sisters because they are often yelling at their parents and it makes me uncomfortable, but that is for another post. I also had a really nice conversation with my host mom about it this evening, so at least there's some movement in the right direction with them. -- Right after my co-teacher left and I was totally bewildered, students streamed into my classroom. I swallowed, smiled, and taught for 50 minutes before collapsing back into my chair.
Once it became clear that Trump was winning and I had no other classes to teach, I asked for permission to leave and call home. I don't think the other teachers at my school realized what had happened until I went home early while biting back tears.
For most of the people I interact with here, I am their only representative of the United States. Whatever I do and say is how they will perceive American culture, and I am realizing that tomorrow I will have to talk to my students about this. I do not know how I am going to explain to the students at my all-girls high school that the most qualified candidate for United States president in history, who was a women, lost against someone with no experience, who has spoken about sexually assaulting women, and was endorsed by the KKK.
All I can hope is that people come together and continue to love each other. That is what I can offer them.
I love this post.
ReplyDeleteI love you, Katherine. I am in shock from the election, and have been crying all day. I wish I could say something to make it better. I'm just really scared for the future of the country. However, I think you ended this well- hoping that people can come together and continue to love each other. I'm thinking of you. Lots of love.
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